The Craving

Nearly ten years ago I used to go about like a mad man searching for the love of my life and I could never co relate to any human being then or any other. I never could understand what it is that I wanted to see or relate to in my life. I was completely distraught and had absolutely no clue what it is I was after then. That was then my search and quest for the spiritual.

My wife used to say that if there was some woman in my life she could fight it but some invisible God she could not fight at all. Everyday was a nightmare then. I roamed about the streets and used up so many contacts searching for God. The ones that I visited could never satisfy my deep craving for the Lord. It was the most horrendous time for the family then. They had to face my uncontrollable anger then. I changed Gurus after Gurus just to find out whether the newer one could take me ahead in my quest. I never slept, never ate well, anger seemed to ride me all day long. Why that anger was there I could never fathom. Then I found all that I was searching for. My quest ended and now I teach by the grace of my Guru.

This article is written for my dearest beloved disciples who are on a similar quest.

They too want to taste that nectar and partake of the joy of being one with the Lord.

I get so many requests every single day from these mad hatters just like me.

They just want that oneness with the Supreme Lord.

They know that this never quenching thirst is eternal and even after knowing the truth will never end.

That Krishna they are searching for is not blue in color, neither is He a flute player, nor a enticingly beautiful persona that they hear about in the scriptures.

This Krishna is ever present within their hearts, forever making them crave and lust for Him and never letting them sleep in peace.

He rocks their worlds with so much of the hollowness that they in fact would want to live that emptiness forever. The pining goes on unabated. They get to see their ideal in some faraway pictures which suddenly flash in front of them, some song which reminds them of Him, some sweets that He loves and every other thing that will somehow point their Lord to them. He deludes them with so much fervor that they like Him more than ever. He runs away from them increasing the want to be one with Him more than before. The love grows endlessly forever. He dodges them behind the vehicles, in the windshields of cars, in the sunlight that trickles down the windows in the morning, the cooing of koels, the raindrops on the trees, the plate that he has His food in, the clothes that He wears.

The madness is endless and all consuming.

Go on my dearies, cry for Him, sing for Him, laugh for Him and dance for Him.

He is the one big heartache that you will have to live with forever and ever.